i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
