"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
