Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
