His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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