she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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