Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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