I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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