you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My liver just broke up with me...
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
