'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You are the jesus of drinking
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
