Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dick very happy bro
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
