you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
