yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
how does that bad decision feel?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
