He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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