he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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