Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
