My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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