oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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