You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
