you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's blow job season.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
