just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My penis needs a shock collar
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
