U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
