good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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