You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
