it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
