Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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