i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Even my vagina gasped.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
