its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
