I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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