I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
