Pappa wants mamma naked
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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