32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
