i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
