Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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