I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
