I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
