Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
