I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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