I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
