Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
