this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
