No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
