I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
