exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
