what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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