Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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