we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you inspire me to be a worse person
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
