so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
