Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
