Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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