Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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