I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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