I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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